2 December 2007

First of December

Right, let’s see...

Firstly, as mentioned by my good mate Luca, University Open Days and Interviews are starting to come out, so I might as well tell you what I wanna do:

Artificial Intelligence & Cybernetics / Computer Science / Computing and Philosophy / Games Computing

At college I do IT which is okay I guess, not the best but okay
English which is a little boring but I’m good at it and enjoy it so that’s good
BIOLOGY ROCKS. I LOVE IT. Learning all about the body is amazing stuff, but some of it is soooooooo hard!!!
Geography is SO BORING but the mates in my class are so funny :D

Aritficial Intelligence fuses IT and Biology and Philosophy, which are my favourite subjects, so I reckon I will love that course.

And the places I’ve chosen: Reading, Leeds, Lincoln, Nottingham and Essex. Nore sure which one yet, I hear Leeds get a LOT of music gigs though :) If anyone is thinking of going to these then please tell me what you think!!!

AND OH YH I don’t wanna brag about it but I’ve sort of found myself a job at the card shop in the abbey... the one that used to be the charity shop in the market square. So yeah, it’s not bad there. Whenever I get bored, I just talk to the customers :) The strangest thing is seeing Jack/Becca/Emma working in the Co-op next door when I go on my lunch breaks... hehe lol

And the till register keeps trying to trap my hand in the tray like in Open All Hours!!!! Scary that thing :O LOL

I also had an interview at Primark yesterday... I went in a group with three others girls so maybe I might work there instead, but getting to Harlow is a ruddy pain :(

Umm... IT’S THE FIRST OF DECEMBER!!! I’m getting all my Christmas presents soon so hopefully Christmas is gonna be good. Going to see the family at my Aunt’s MANSION in Surrey... anytime I get bored, I can just jump in the pool, or relax on a nice big bed :) I love it there, and I miss them all too :(

And UGH I have a lot of music-downloading-catchup to do because my computer is being a bloody pain and 4oD taking up all the CPU so it is RELE SLOW!!!

And one last thing... if you have any tickets to see The Klaxons, please sell them to me, I REALLY WANT TO SEE THEM LIVE!!! KLAXONS ROCK!!!!

I can’t wait to see 30 Seconds To Mars though with my best mates that is gonna be awesomeness :)

LEON TO WIN X-FACTOR!!! (OMG I can’t believe I said that)

CONGRATS TO BIGGINS WINNING CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! He is such a funny guy, I can’t belive he went and ate all that disgusting stuff in the Bush Tukka trial. YUK.


And finally... DAMN I NEED SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 HAHAHA LOL

Luca Macis

LOL!!!! Again, you seem to be doing rele well wit the funny last comments. lol.

I've applied for Reading University but i've not been there.

Posted by Luca Macis on [02 Dec 2007 | Sunday] - 6:00 PM
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Nice blog :)
Haha 30 seconds to mars wll be amazing.
I want to see the klaxons live aswell.

I'll give you sex. Dont tell my girlfriend though =/
Also, the finale of heroes is amazing.
The course subjects that you want to do sound great, go for it.
two Kudos.
Posted by Joshiee on [05 Dec 2007 | Wednesday] - 3:56 PM
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Hayley Lou.

yayim going klaxons tmrooooo ^_^ and heroes is TONIGHT woopwoop

congratulations on your job =]
Posted by Hayley Lou. on [05 Dec 2007 | Wednesday] - 6:17 PM
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10 November 2007

Straight Edge

"Straight edge" means you do not drink, do not smoke, and do not take drugs for recreational use. It mainly applies to the hardcore punk musicians such as Ian Watkins from Lostprophets, but seeing that punk music ROCKS, I think I might count.

Some straight edge people also don't take caffeine, and some are vegetarians.

As for me, let's see... I have never drank alcohol... I have never smoked and would rather die than do that shit... and I haven't taken any paracetamol for about 3 months... and I don't drink coffee or tea. And of course, taking illegal drugs is just killing yourself anyway.

But one thing I do like is my meat foods. Chicken, salmon, pork... mmmmm.... plenty of protein in them!

What I suppose I'm trying to get at is that I don't need these things. If you've read my blog (on MSN Spaces) about alcohol, you'll know that alcohol is a drug, and therefore is an effective painkiller (something that gets rid of your pain... your troubles etc.). People smoke for the feeling they get from it (nicotine is a drug). People take drugs for the feeling. People drink coffee to get stimulated (caffeine is a drug). You get the picture?

I'm saying, I don't need drugs of any sort. I have total control over my body and my mind, and I want it to stay that way. I can deal with pain by creating more pain from working out and exercising. I can clear bad thoughts by giving into... ahem... certain... um... good, pleasurable thoughts. Hehe. I have endless, endless enthusiasm and tolerance for almost everything, only except for alcohol, tobacco etc.

I guess from the way I am saying all this, I probably sound like I am very big-headed :O and yes, I guess I am. I depend only upon myself for inner strength, instead of relying on drugs to help me.

The interesting thing is, though, your mind is so precious. (My precious!!!) Nobody can interfere with your mind - nobody can get in your mind and play about with it, because it is yours. You have to become the master of your own mind.

"Your mind is a palace. Use it wisely." -- Angela's Ashes

"Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own." - Baz Lurhman's Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen (http://www.generationterrorists.com/quotes/sunscreen.html)

This is a sort of a crappy ending to a blog, so here's a joke for you.
Did you hear the one about the egg?
It's not all it's cracked up to be. LOL.

How straight edge are you?

You are 100% straight edge
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Luca Macis

fantastic joke, Im just laughing so much rite now (note the sarcasm. lol)

2 Kudos for the effort tho! lol
Posted by Luca Macis on [10 Nov 2007 | Saturday] - 6:38 PM
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The "Vista" look for XP

Here are the essentials for transforming XP into Vista. I can't do without all this lot on my machine at home, the old blue "Luna" theme of XP is so boring... Most of these will not drain your system resources either, so "it's all good!!!"

- Vista Inspirat 2.0 (by BricoPack) OR the Vista Transformation Pack 7.0 (by WindowsX Live)... this will install the new Black Vista windows theme (taskbar, title bar etc.), the Explorer layout, the login/welcome screen, all your icons, mouse/cursor icons, sounds, screensaver, desktops and more.
(BricoPack) (VTP)

- Flip3D for XP - experience the real Flip3D effect for browsing through windows. (http://www.mydigitallife.info/2007/10/31/enjoy-flip-3d-effect-in-your-windows-xp/)

- ViStart - to make your Start Menu look just like the real Vista one

- ViOrb - to make the Start button more "orby" instead of flat

and as part of Vista Inspirat...

- Rocket Dock... to make a "dock" on your desktop like the Apple Mac
- Y'z Shadow - add shadows to your windows
- TransBar - to make the taskbar transparent
- UberIcon - when you double click on an icon, it will get larger and then fade out

and as part of VTP 7.0... you can change the Windows XP blue "loading" screen into one that says "Vista" instead.

Enjoy :)

(PS... 'vista' actually means a "view")
(PPS... BricoPack is better than VTP, you need to lock out your system for VTP to install properly on some machines)

6 November 2007

Looking Back...

... if I look back, I see... my shadow... my shadows being my past self... like the Linkin park song.... Sorry just a little idea that popped into my head ;)

FIRST THING. Well, I've ditched my old Windows Live Spaces b/c I got NO comments on there so I've jumped over here instead. Anytime I feel like a blog I will chuck it on here and hopefully it won't be a waste!

Anyway. Back to the reason for being here.

After reading Frank's blog at http://www.myspace.com/frankb77, I felt like making my own contribution to the community about, well, me. Nothing too long.

Most of the stuff I write usually goes in my diary... which isn't really a diary because I just write it up on the computer and file it away somewhere... but I felt like just maybe making a summary.

The last few months... even the last few years, have been so dramatically changing for me. Two years ago I was filled with jealousy and major, major regret for doing bad things but one night I got so desperate, and I don't know how, but all the darkness turned into light... I changed Envy into Admiration. A sin into a virtue. Respect. Appreciation. And ever since, I have never had jealousy... but instead, I just get really, really strong admiration for people. Instead of hating people for having good characteristics, I could like them.

In the last 6 months I have massively changed. Because I hated my appearance so much, looking back at pictures of me, I just felt a really strong feeling to change. I didn't want everyone to look at the dull, boring loser I once was.

So I changed both phyiscally and mentally. I started straightening my hair. I've been trying out eye contacts. I've bought new clothes from Primark, Topman, JJB and Blue Inc. I have converses-look-alikes. Dark jeans. Sexier shirts ;)

My mind has also opened a lot. I've just started work again, I work in a restuarant and I LOVE IT. It's better than college!

I went to my first gig EVER which was Black Hearts and White Lies at the Walthamstow Standard which was AMAZING just dancing all night.

I also developed an interest in keeping fit. After picking up a protein-supplement leaflet I saw how sexy many of the guys looked and... as you know... instead of feeling jealous, they felt like idols to me. It made me feel like changing myself. Not for appreciation, but to feel good about myself. To "see" myself getting ripped!!!

But... and here's the weird and freaky part... I also changed in my sexuality. Guys now seem quite good-looking to me. You know, the sexy emo hair. Not dyed black, just... down and... well, I'm not gonna say anymore. Girls are still very sexy, though. Very sexy ;) But guys with sexy hair or muscles... you know... wearing short-sleeves or tank tops... I dunno. It's just sexy.

So what goes from here? I guess the next stage for me is to try and find some new friends. I am actaully slightly more "confident", if you want to put it that way, but I have always had confidence, ambition, enthusiasm and motivation ever since doing my project in Art & Design (god I love my artwork so much, just like I love Snow Patrol's music... lol) I just feel like talking to people now, I feel like connecting, instead of hiding away. I know I sound "emo" but I'm not.

One thing I must say is that I have always been true to myself. In fact, I don't know how to be "false" to myself!!!

But yeah, my attitude towards life has changed, I guess. Being a very organised person, I have sorted everything out, and can prioritise everything with ease. My insomnia which I've had for the last 2 months is now diappearing, YAY!!!

The quote from my MSN is the best thing here. "It's the journey that made me so strong." Snow Patrol. Basically I think it means that in order to get stronger, you need to fail first. You need to be weak first, you need to have sins and bad stuff in order to get better. And the quote is just sort of saying, depression was actually good for me, because it made me cleverer and strongerer XD lol

Luca Macis

Im glad to see your back on track. I mean i did notice you wern't that sociable at King Harold but we all knew that you we're a nice person and tried to get you involved. We probaly done little but i like to think we helped you a little to get to where you are now. Even if the changes are so much later on then secondary school.

Btw i did read the blogs on ur msn space thing but this is soooo much easier for me. lol

Keep on rocking :-P
Posted by Luca Macis on [07 Nov 2007 | Wednesday] - 11:01 PM
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Trebor™ XstraightedgeX
Robert Cathles

hi luca thnx for the comment dude :D

yh i guess i do owe a lot to you guys really. inviting me out and all that :) cheers man ;) i suppose its just sort of everything really thats changed me and opened up, but all you guys probably better at pulling me out of the house :) haha lol i sound drunk!!!

And thanks for reading all my msn spaces crap. it was just getting a bit lonely on there i guess...

You rock man :) Here, have some kudos things. They'll do for now until I can think of a way to make it up for all you guys. (lol i definitely sound drunk now... lol)
Posted by Trebor™ XstraightedgeX on [08 Nov 2007 | Thursday] - 12:16 AM
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Brillant blog, I might not know ya, but I think you're rather brave, how you found yourself, andnot scared to say that you find men attractive and stuff also how you have alot more confidence now.
Keep it up.

(Also yes, you can hire me for valentines day.) =]
Posted by Joshiee on [09 Nov 2007 | Friday] - 2:42 PM
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† The Ice King †
Frank Burtenshaw

"After reading Frank's blog at http://www.myspace.com/frankb77, I felt like making my own contribution to the community about, well, me. Nothing too long."

Glad to see i've contributed dude :P
And yeah, seen a massive change in you since first year at college, it's all good :P
And the quote about snow patrol ... might i recommend some Children of Bodom, Behemoth, Arch Enemy, Dragonforce and Malice Mizer ... you never know, you may like ^_^
Posted by † The Ice King † on [23 Nov 2007 | Friday] - 11:07 PM
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4 November 2007

Alcohol - A New Perspective

Okay, I promise, this will be the last time I talk about how much I hate alcohol. Yeah, yeah, I know the rule about not shoving your ideas into other people's heads, and I have thought about it, and have came up with this balanced view. Read on.

First - some facts.

Alcohol is a drug. Alcohol has something called ethanol in it, which is a drug - a depressant. Here is what it does (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethanol#Effect_on_humans):

50 Euphoria, talkativeness, relaxation
100 Central nervous system depression, impaired motor and sensory function, impaired cognition
>140 Decreased blood flow to brain
300 Stupefaction, possible unconsciousness
400 Possible death
>550 Expiration

So, it is mainly euphoria - a sense of happiness. But another way of saying happiness is... the lack of sadness. (Just like the glass that is half full/half empty.)

That leads me to the idea that alcohol is therefore a painkiller! Just like paracetamol, alcohol gets rid of your mental pain.

So IMO, choosing not to drink is perfectly justified and needs no question, because it's just like saying NO to drugs and cigarettes.

Plus, something I looked up says that when you drink heavily, the cells in your brain get smaller due to dehydration - that's why you get the need to go to the toilet so often! When you uptake water again, the cells return to normal - and this is called a hangover!

But what's interesting is that I read the damage to these cells holding the brain to the skull is temporary, but the recovering process of the nerve-cell structure of the dendrites is permanent.

Skins - the Hedonistic teenagers who don't worry about the dangers of the world such as drugs, alcohol, smoking and sex. And mucking about with your friends. Haha. So I thought I could win you over just by stating that fact. No. The next stage is to try and say what this means in the real world. I'm starting to hit the philosophical borderlines of Atheism and Nihilism now... Do you want to preserve your body as much as possible? Do you want to make yourself stronger by going through pain? Do you want to test your body to the limits? Does it really matter? Do you need to "keep everything in moderation" - or does it actually matter in the end because you will die anyway so what's the difference? Is the difference the influence and change you bring about the world - based upon the choices you make? Such as the people who you bought the alcohol from, the people who look up to you, your parents etc? Are they the lasting result of you? And in that way should you lead the best life in order to make a "good" influence on them? What is "good", surely that knocking down a few buildings would be good for the world overall (see "Fight Club" then come back here).

I suppose an easier way of putting all that is just - "do you really wanna fuck up your body and your brain? do you actually care?"

Let's summarise everything then. We've got our bad reasons - such as health effects and drink driving - good points such as spreading influence via money, forming communities and some good health effects. Now let me contradict myself -

Alcohol does obviously cause a lot of death. Does that then mean that alcohol is good, because we are finding another way of keeping the population down?

But why do we need to keep the population down? To stop increasing taxes, pressure on public services and demand for resources?

This reminds me of something on Al Murray's MySpace - "Alcohol - the reason many of us are here!"

Okay. That's enough. So where are we standing now? I suppose I will just have to live with the fact that people like to drink alcohol, and all the while, I can just remind myself that people aren't actually drinking alcohol, they're taking drugs. For everyone else, all I can say is, cheers!

The Hardest Part

Did you watch Stephen Fry's programme called "HIV and Me?". No? Oh well. It really was a great programme.

Fry made this programme as an aim to reduce the stigma (prejudice) and increase the education about how to be safe with this whole HIV/AIDS thing.

An important note - before watching this programme, I did not actually know what HIV/AIDS actually was. All I knew was that it was "bad" and that anyone who had it is "bad" themselves. But what is even more important is that after seeing this, I have no more stigma, in fact, I feel desperately sorry for anyone with this condition - and any other condition it that.

Here are the most important facts you must know - these are all on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS
  • HIV is the infection itself, which leads to the AIDS condition. It takes 9-10 years to fully develop, but will take only 9 months to kill you.
  • HIV is spread via blood (touch and blood transfusion), through a mother to her baby, sexual/bodily fluids such as semen, vaginal fluid and pre-ejaculate fluid (through anal, vaginal and oral sex in that order), breast milk and through shared needles. HIV has never been found in saliva, tears or urine, and is very, very unlikely to get there if you come in contact with it.
  • AIDS causes damage to the immune system, making you much more vulnerable to other viruses such as TB (tuberculosis) and Pneumonia. It kills off your white blood cells very quickly and this causes many other problems.
  • The best way to prevent infection is by using a condom (and as everyone knows, this also prevents other STI's and of course, pregnancy!!!!)
  • There is no cure, and treatment of AIDS still leaves you with a massive intake of pills and HIV symptoms.
  • Not everyone can get free condoms or medical support for HIV, because of lack of money (particularly in Africa) or because religion does not accept sex before marriage as "right".
  • Anyone can get HIV. It spreads just as well through straight people as well as gay/lesbian people. It is not rooted to just one type of sex.
What is so important in today's world is that everyone should be taught all of this and learn not to rely on stigma. I'm 17 now and in the last few months I've learned so much about life than I ever have done. Just through experience. And reading and watching. And listening. All I hope for in the future is that everyone can learn this, and that stigma can be killed, and education about this should be compulsory. I watched "HIV and Me" because there was nothing else on, and I missed the first of two episodes anyway. But then I actively thought about it again and it and changed my prejudices, and I did a little research about it.

What I want is for everyone to see this. But that is the problem, you see? Trying to get every new generation to learn this is hard work!!!

And just in case you didn't know, Stephen Fry is an intellectual genius and is homosexual, but does not have HIV/AIDS. But the programme showed some of his close friends who were positive and how they passed away.

Picture of Anonymous
Luca Macis wrote:
I did like this blog Rob. Some very interesting info and im sorry i missed the programme to be honest
Nov. 4 | Delete

28 October 2007

Another One For The Album

I wanted to bring up another very talented artist from one of my many homes, Deviant Art.

His name is Lychi. And he does speedpainting. He hasn't got a very big gallery, but some of his work is truly stunning.
All I can do is just smile when I look at these, they are just SO REAL >..<

Let's focus in on a couple:

Picture of Anonymous
Luca Macis wrote:
Wow - these are pretty fantastic. I can only dream of doing these kind of drawings.
Nov. 1 | Delete

21 October 2007

"Why I Don't Drink"

If you know me personally, you will know that I do not drink alcohol. If you know me even more personally, you will know what I hate the idea of it.
That is the exact reason why I think the guy who wrote this blog, Tynan, is an absolutely awesome guy. I am just really, really pleased I found this blog on the internet, to know that there are people out there like me who just completely abstain from alcohol.
Here are some of the best quotes -

"I was so proud to be the group of people who were too cool to drink. We were happy and had more fun than anyone, and we didn’t need alcohol."

"People drink, and it’s usually for a reason : lonliness, depression, insecurity, stress, or the worst of all : boredom."

"As my friends began to drink and I saw them, I saw them act like idiots. They were transformed from the people I knew and loved into boring idiots. They would laugh at things that weren’t funny, stumble around, and generally make fools of themselves. Some of them would say things that they’d surely regret. Often times they’d get too close to people’s faces and talk about things that person didn’t care about. I was that person sometimes."

"All of my worries were immediately banished - this stuff was disgusting. I was shocked, actually. I really thought that I would like it and would have to then force myself not to drink. But it tasted like rotten fruit and gasoline all mixed together." LOL!!!

"Think about this : is there anyone who you have ever respected MORE because they drank? Is there anyone who you’ve respected more because they DIDN’T drink?"

"Personally, I’ll never drink or do drugs. There’s just too much liability for too few benefits. I also like being one of the few who was strong enough to never give in and try it. Cheers!"

To me, I just have to say that I completely agree with everything this guy says, apart from the part where he does actually try it out.

I just feel so happy I'm not alone!!! YAY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anyway, there are also some other things which have helped me support my decision, which deserve a mention:

30 September 2007

The Truth Is Out There...

I was glancing over the new diaries for King Harold, and um, found this little gem at the back...

Whether this was actually said by Mr Gates himself, we might never know (how did anyone get their hands on this?), but whoever did write this is a true inspiration to all of us. Although some of this might seem very obvious to old people like me (hahaha), there are many children out there who don't. I just wanna spread the word, because I think this "speech" sums up a lot of facts about life quite well. ;D Have a great life, everybody!

Bill Gates’ Speech to Mt. Whitney High School

Rule 1: Life is not fair - - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

Source: http://www.etrdirect.com/bill-gates-speech.html

4oD... For Free

If you've been watching Channel 4, you'll be aware of their internet downloader 4oD - 4 on Demand.

For people who haven't downloaded it yet, basically, it is an online catalogue of nearly everything ever shown on Channel 4.

Everything from the last 30 days on TV is now downloadable for free on the 4oD service. You can still download stuff after 30 days, but, the catch is, you have to pay 99p for the DRM code that lets you watch it.

But recently 4oD have opened up a massive archive of hundreds of shows - all of them totally free - but only for 6 weeks.

Just to name a few - IT Crowd, Father Ted, Peep Show, Shameless, Teachers, The F Word, Fonejacker, Derren Brown, Bo Selecta, Green Wing, Skins, Spaced, Star Stories, Sugar Rush, Trigger Happy TV...

Another catch is that as soon as you start downloading, it is only available for 1 month for free. After that, the downloaded file will remain on your PC, but you will need to buy the DRM to allow it to play. And as far as I know, there is no way to crack the DRM.

Except... with a little trick called TuneBite. Basically this is screen recording software that will record the show/episode you've downloaded to make a new, unprotected one.

So now instead of waiting for slow downloads on P2P software like BitComet, BitTorrent and LimeWire, you can use this, if you like. Just wanted everyone to know about this offer that 4oD are giving out!!!! =]

Picture of Anonymous
Angie wrote:
Tunebite is great I have been using it with great success for such purposes as recording files without their protection. It easier and taotally faster than using BitComet or Utorrent or anything else. Go for it!
Oct. 26 | Delete

27 September 2007

Jaw-Dropping Artwork


This guy is just amazing at the artwork he does. Here are my favourite ones on DeviantArt from Hideyoshi's gallery.

I think all of this guy's artwork is just truly stunning and I want everyone to take a good look at it!!! HE IS AWESOME.

15 September 2007

Some awesome self-help articles

Now that the "Qube" is up (God, I'm just getting fed up of hearing that word!!!) on the internet, I just wanted to remind everyone that there is actually some useful stuff on it.

If you go to "Student Services" there are some really, really helpful information guides about emotional wellbeing, bullying, smoking, crime and drugs. I really suggest that you check it out, especially if you just want some advice.

Here are the articles that really got me thinking:


Especially the quote from the second page from a student - "I felt detached from the world around me. All emotions – love, affection, anger – were gone. Actually, I can't say I had no emotions, I did, but they all seemed desperately negative. Most involved fear. Fear that I would never escape the condition." (strangely, this reflects my recent post about feeling detached/rejecting the world... lol

I'm not saying I still have these problems - I just wanted to check them out - and thought they were pretty true to the way I solved my own depression and shit, so I wanted to tell everyone that help is out there if you need it.

Keep on rockin', dudes! Wink

Real-Life Heroes

Just read this article (http://darmano.typepad.com/logic_emotion/2007/09/heroes.html)

Just imagine this - It's America. An old woman is driving up to a train crossroads. By utter mistake, she turns into the path of the railway instead of going straight up through the road. The barriers come down. This woman is now stuck on the tracks, with two trains now speeding towards her car.

It's like something out of the movies, isn't it?!

Then all of a sudden, a HEROIC, BRAVE guy runs up to the car, grabs the woman from her car, missing the trains BY SECONDS, and saves her life.

I think this guy is an absolute inspiration to all of us. And if he doesn't get into heaven fro that good deed, I'm sure that old woman he saved will make this world as close to heaven as possible for him!!!

10 September 2007

How I Changed From An Agnostic to an Atheist

OK. Lots to talk about.

First, to get started, I heard the lyrics to the song Knights of Cydonia (Wiki) on an advert, and remembered it was by Muse.
Most importantly I remebered the lyrics "Don't waste your time or time will waste you."

I was reading the Wikipedia page about Matthew Bellamy, the lead singer of MUSE, the rock band - who totally rock!!!
(or go to http://www.musewiki.org/Matthew_Bellamy for more fan-related info)
And down the bottom it says "Bellamy is an atheist: "Being an atheist means you have to realise that when you die, that really is it. You've got to make the most of what you've got here and spread as much influence as you can. I believe that you only live through the influence that you spread, whether that means having a kid or making music"."

And if you think about it, the lyrics from that song reflect that. They make me feel like getting out there and making a difference.

If you have read my profile on MySpace recently, you'll notice I changed it from Protestant (Christian) to Agnostic.

To me, agnostic basically means that you are unsure if god exists. You have doubts. And maybe you believe that it is not even possible for us to prove that God exists. And I was, up 'til now, very supporting of this position. In the past, I said I was Christian basically because everyone else does. I do Christmas, Easter, etc. I have strong imaginations and feelings towards the events in the Bible and belive that some of them could have happened, but believe it was more likely to be Robin Hood ("Robert Hode"). LOL just joking with you...

But when I read about Agnostism on Wikipedia, it was certainly ringing true with me. (Go to Wiki) So I changed.

Okay, keep going with me here...

So then I started watching Skins (WOOOOOH SKINS ROCKS!!!) and in the first episode, Tony said "I say, this world extends way beyond this little field of dreams we're dancing in, and I wanna see that world!" Plus, if you notice, Tony is reading a book called Nausea, which is about a guy who discovers Existentialism.

So I went and looked up Existentialism on Wiki (God, I just love that site, don't I ?!) and I really agreed with some of the ideas it was bringing up. Feelings like... rejecting the world.
Søren Kierkegaard puts it very simply "How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it and why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager—I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint?"

And that is exactly how I feel sometimes!!! I just don't always have the guts to say it out loud to anyone.

(and I just wanted to mention that the author of Nausea is Jean-Paul Sartre - who, after I was reading about him, had a question about him come up on Millionaire a couple of days after I learned about who he was!!! Spooky! anyway.)

Okay, so then I thought, "Wow, this is getting to be really cool stuff now. Certainly I'm finished thinking about everything?"


I decided to go and read the Wiki article about Atheism (link here) and I am absolutely flabbergasted about how true it is to me!!

Some notable points which dragged me into it:
- Weak atheism is like Agnosticism
- "Philosophers such as Ludwig Feuerbach and Sigmund Freud argued that God and other religious beliefs are human inventions, created to fulfill various psychological and emotional wants or needs." - That definitely rings true with me - all religion is actually codswallop, if you think about it, just like Astrology, Horoscopes and Eskimos (that's a Simpsons joke)
- "Theodicean atheists believe that the world as they experience it cannot be reconciled with the qualities commonly ascribed to God and gods by theologians. They argue that an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent God is not compatible with a world where there is evil and suffering, and where divine love is hidden from many people. A similar argument is attributed to Siddhartha Gautama, the founder of Buddhism."

And to me, that rings true so much. Do you remember my old blog about Religion? Do you remember that I said "How can a god translate all that stuff into what is good and what is bad?" Yeah? Yeah?

So I just wanted to share all this with you guys. I respect all religions, hence my position on Agnosticism (because I just can't say that there is absolutely no way we can prove that God does not exist, so we can't prove He does... plus, I need to blame all my co-incidences on someone, and as I said in an old blog, We Are God. God Is Everywhere. God Is Us.).

I really wanted to say this, guys, because, whenever I was reading people's profile's, if they said "Atheist", I was thinking, how can they be Atheist? No God? What the...? So I wanted to tell you exactly what Atheism is, so that you can make up your own mind as well.

Well - good luck to everyone and all the best to you! Just remember to make the most of your time that you have!

Picture of Anonymous
Luca Macis wrote:
You went pretty deep there mate but i can help but agree. I am in a similar boat to you. I don't believe but i am not, as of yet anyways, ready to give up the idea that it may be true.

We'll find out for sure when our time is up i guess.
Sept. 11 | Delete

21 August 2007

A real technology prodigy

If you think I'm a geek, you should check this guy out. It's amazing. Just... amazing.

He is a Development Associate and IT Associate at RM.

He is the host and producer of his own blog, "Apple Universe".

His mum works at Oracle. His dad works alongside him.

He writes HTML for SharePoint/Wiki, fixes computers and sets them up for new hires.

He's 14 years old.

And he hates MySpace!

His name is Daniel Brusilovsky. Check out his interview with Robert Scoble here:
Filmstrip http://www.podtech.net/scobleshow/technology/1589/inspirational-teenager

It just amazes me how a kid so young knows so much! Kids, today...
It makes me feel like going out there and getting a job and making some money. A true inspiration.

You only need to see the first couple of minutes of the video, 'cos then they start talking about real serious and "boring" stuff...

15 August 2007

Facing The Facts (updated) (updated again!)

Back to my blog about this whole "Climate Change" crap...
I just wanted to sort of post a reply to my own post, which sounds weird, but I feel needs justification (sounds like a court room in here, don't it?)

I realise that just telling people that Climate Change isn't real won't do me any good.

But what's more important is that I realise, on my own, I can't do anything about it! I'm just gonna have to live with it. Just think - all those jobs made, all those government members flying all over the world to discuss climate change, all those computing studies trying to prove climate change - it makes me think that Climate Change has become a self-fulfilling prophecy because all the work being done to stop it is actually causing more CO2 to be emitted!!!

Anyway. Something I want to highlight on is Atmospheric Composition. You remember that from Science, don't you?
Of all the air in the world, 79% is Nitrogen, 21% is oxygen... and 0.035% is Carbon Dioxide. I just think that some people, like me, have completely forgotten about this thing and what is shows us. As long as the % of CO2 stays the same, we're not in trouble.

There is no point in trying to stop it anyway - so why don't we give up?

And another realisation that everyone needs to make is that we cannot stop carbon dioxide emissions. People depend too much on technology as part of their lives now. Unless we just completely stop people from having computers, televisions etc., then it will not stop. So I find this quite simple - there's no point in worrying. If you can find a way to reduce your CO2, go on right ahead, but just realise that it won't do a lot of good in the end. Unless you move into a deep forest in South America... and don't breathe. Oh wait. Well that would mean... Ahhhh! *GASP*

So what do I want out of this? What drives me to writing this?
What I want is for people to stop talking about it and working towards reducing CO2. I don't wanna hear the words "climate change" every bloody day on the BBC News, on my packet of Walkers crisps, or on my newspaper... but I have to realise that this isn't the "general opinion". That's why special cars and things are being designed that are "green" - because the companies know that people (in general) believe in climate change and will feel happy about having a car that's "better". The companies know that. And it's their responsibility to respond to it. Even if climate change is just a rumour! So I'm stuck! I suppose I just have to live with it!!

Example - Heathrow airport protest

There was a news report today about the new planned Heathrow airport, and the protesters trying to stop it because of "climate change". (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6953518.stm)

There were about 1,400 protesters in Sipson (not Simpsons!) village, all of them campaigning against "climate change", and one of the interviewees on ITV news said that Heathrow needs a new airport because they have been increasing their demand. WRONG! I believe that Heathrow needs a new airport because they need to provide for their customers (like I mentioned above). As the population increases, all public services will become more and more jammed and busy, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Unless we act together.

But the thing is, they were protesting because they believe setting up the airport would increase the effects of "climate change". And you know what I have to say to that, don't you? Poppycock! (not often I say that actually)

If you put it into perspective, there are hundreds of businesses being built all the time. The effect of one tiny little airport will make little difference to the existing CO2 emissions from the rest of the globe.

Those protesters just need to wake up and realise that they can't stop all the new airports in the world from being built. Or any other large businesses.

And of course, they also need to realise that climate change is not real.

Example - congestion charge

Transport for London are linking car emissions to the congestion charge! (link) Evil, evil b******s!!

If you have a high emission car, you could pay more of the congestion charge! GRRR!!!

Just think about this for a sec - the congestion charge was only created because the roads are busy.
Why are the roads busy? Because of the increasing population. Because more people are living. Because the government is allowing more people to emigrate here. Because of the internal pressure on local services.

Here's what I wrote on the questionnaire thingy they have:

"I think that climate change should only be linked to car emissions if clear and precise statistics can be generated which prove that climate change is happening. I have heard about climate change far too often and have never seen any real, actual statistics that prove that humans and the CO2 emissions that humans produce are actually a contributor to climate change. I strongly feel that some concrete evidence should be published which Transport for London, or any other organisation, should use in order to make such claims that their own CO2 emissions are contributing to it. Unless the evidence is clear, there is absolutely no reason why we should start worrying about climate change, and there is nothing we should change in our own lives to justify it."

I just want to know: what does everyone else think? Have you actually seen the statistics?
Or are you just "believing" the hype? Do you actually trust the government on what they say?

16 July 2007

"...Rediscover the Web"

Yes, you've guessed it! I've switched to Firefox!

There are loads of reasons why Firefox is better than IE, here's what really pulled me in:
  • It is faster. You can actually notice it when it loads the pages.
  • There are a lot more add-ons and themes for Firefox than IE.
  • Crash recovery. Saves a lot of time.
But don't I miss IE? Well, after doing some browsing, not any more!
  • Instead of NetXfer for downloads (IE only), I now use Download Accelerator Plus - for the "download all" feature mainly
  • Instead of IE7Pro, Firefox has all of it's features built in.
  • Instead of AdsGone, I can now use AdBlock Plus and get updates for string filters. It's much easier for beginners to use instead of editing the Hosts file.
  • I can run IE's engine in Firefox with IETab, so I can do my Windows Updates in Firefox, as well as view my website in Firefox as well.
"But surely you had some problems?" Yes, is the answer to that:
  • I hated Firefox's way of scrolling down pages. It jerks around all the time or moves too slowly.
    I did find a fix for this, though: http://www.earthv.com/tips_detail.asp?TipID=76
  • I didn't like the American spelling for fields, so I downloaded the British Dictionary :D *grumble* stupid ruddy Americans thinking they can steal our language then change it, silly idiots! *cools down* Anyway...
  • I wanted the "Create Shortcut" back; and also wanted to backup all my passwords and "bookmarks" in case Firefox broke - downloaded them from here: http://www.pikey.me.uk/mozilla/
  • I had to get my search engines back for the Search toolbar in Firefox - and I was pleased to find a whole website devoted to them :D
  • I did have a little trouble installing Adobe Shockwave and Flash but after giving it a damn good kicking it worked fine.
The only dispute I can't solve is - is Firefox actually more secure than IE or not? Symantec says it isn't (search my website for more info) but after reading some convincing reviews and adverts, I think otherwise. I won't go as far as to say I use this thing called "NoScript", because Firefox already has that - you just click on the little button that turns off Java/JavaScript. But anyway.

Ssssoooooooooo. There you go. I can't think of what to say, except maybe, "are you gonna make the switch?"
And if you have already done so, well done. *WeLcOmE tO tEh ClUb*

Remember, surf safe! (I know I say that every bloody time and it sounds really annoying, but I just feel like saying it!!!)