10 November 2007

Straight Edge

"Straight edge" means you do not drink, do not smoke, and do not take drugs for recreational use. It mainly applies to the hardcore punk musicians such as Ian Watkins from Lostprophets, but seeing that punk music ROCKS, I think I might count.

Some straight edge people also don't take caffeine, and some are vegetarians.

As for me, let's see... I have never drank alcohol... I have never smoked and would rather die than do that shit... and I haven't taken any paracetamol for about 3 months... and I don't drink coffee or tea. And of course, taking illegal drugs is just killing yourself anyway.

But one thing I do like is my meat foods. Chicken, salmon, pork... mmmmm.... plenty of protein in them!

What I suppose I'm trying to get at is that I don't need these things. If you've read my blog (on MSN Spaces) about alcohol, you'll know that alcohol is a drug, and therefore is an effective painkiller (something that gets rid of your pain... your troubles etc.). People smoke for the feeling they get from it (nicotine is a drug). People take drugs for the feeling. People drink coffee to get stimulated (caffeine is a drug). You get the picture?

I'm saying, I don't need drugs of any sort. I have total control over my body and my mind, and I want it to stay that way. I can deal with pain by creating more pain from working out and exercising. I can clear bad thoughts by giving into... ahem... certain... um... good, pleasurable thoughts. Hehe. I have endless, endless enthusiasm and tolerance for almost everything, only except for alcohol, tobacco etc.

I guess from the way I am saying all this, I probably sound like I am very big-headed :O and yes, I guess I am. I depend only upon myself for inner strength, instead of relying on drugs to help me.

The interesting thing is, though, your mind is so precious. (My precious!!!) Nobody can interfere with your mind - nobody can get in your mind and play about with it, because it is yours. You have to become the master of your own mind.

"Your mind is a palace. Use it wisely." -- Angela's Ashes

"Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own." - Baz Lurhman's Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen (http://www.generationterrorists.com/quotes/sunscreen.html)

This is a sort of a crappy ending to a blog, so here's a joke for you.
Did you hear the one about the egg?
It's not all it's cracked up to be. LOL.

How straight edge are you?

You are 100% straight edge
Take this quiz!

Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Luca Macis

fantastic joke, Im just laughing so much rite now (note the sarcasm. lol)

2 Kudos for the effort tho! lol
Posted by Luca Macis on [10 Nov 2007 | Saturday] - 6:38 PM
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The "Vista" look for XP

Here are the essentials for transforming XP into Vista. I can't do without all this lot on my machine at home, the old blue "Luna" theme of XP is so boring... Most of these will not drain your system resources either, so "it's all good!!!"

- Vista Inspirat 2.0 (by BricoPack) OR the Vista Transformation Pack 7.0 (by WindowsX Live)... this will install the new Black Vista windows theme (taskbar, title bar etc.), the Explorer layout, the login/welcome screen, all your icons, mouse/cursor icons, sounds, screensaver, desktops and more.
(BricoPack) (VTP)

- Flip3D for XP - experience the real Flip3D effect for browsing through windows. (http://www.mydigitallife.info/2007/10/31/enjoy-flip-3d-effect-in-your-windows-xp/)

- ViStart - to make your Start Menu look just like the real Vista one

- ViOrb - to make the Start button more "orby" instead of flat

and as part of Vista Inspirat...

- Rocket Dock... to make a "dock" on your desktop like the Apple Mac
- Y'z Shadow - add shadows to your windows
- TransBar - to make the taskbar transparent
- UberIcon - when you double click on an icon, it will get larger and then fade out

and as part of VTP 7.0... you can change the Windows XP blue "loading" screen into one that says "Vista" instead.

Enjoy :)

(PS... 'vista' actually means a "view")
(PPS... BricoPack is better than VTP, you need to lock out your system for VTP to install properly on some machines)

6 November 2007

Looking Back...

... if I look back, I see... my shadow... my shadows being my past self... like the Linkin park song.... Sorry just a little idea that popped into my head ;)

FIRST THING. Well, I've ditched my old Windows Live Spaces b/c I got NO comments on there so I've jumped over here instead. Anytime I feel like a blog I will chuck it on here and hopefully it won't be a waste!

Anyway. Back to the reason for being here.

After reading Frank's blog at http://www.myspace.com/frankb77, I felt like making my own contribution to the community about, well, me. Nothing too long.

Most of the stuff I write usually goes in my diary... which isn't really a diary because I just write it up on the computer and file it away somewhere... but I felt like just maybe making a summary.

The last few months... even the last few years, have been so dramatically changing for me. Two years ago I was filled with jealousy and major, major regret for doing bad things but one night I got so desperate, and I don't know how, but all the darkness turned into light... I changed Envy into Admiration. A sin into a virtue. Respect. Appreciation. And ever since, I have never had jealousy... but instead, I just get really, really strong admiration for people. Instead of hating people for having good characteristics, I could like them.

In the last 6 months I have massively changed. Because I hated my appearance so much, looking back at pictures of me, I just felt a really strong feeling to change. I didn't want everyone to look at the dull, boring loser I once was.

So I changed both phyiscally and mentally. I started straightening my hair. I've been trying out eye contacts. I've bought new clothes from Primark, Topman, JJB and Blue Inc. I have converses-look-alikes. Dark jeans. Sexier shirts ;)

My mind has also opened a lot. I've just started work again, I work in a restuarant and I LOVE IT. It's better than college!

I went to my first gig EVER which was Black Hearts and White Lies at the Walthamstow Standard which was AMAZING just dancing all night.

I also developed an interest in keeping fit. After picking up a protein-supplement leaflet I saw how sexy many of the guys looked and... as you know... instead of feeling jealous, they felt like idols to me. It made me feel like changing myself. Not for appreciation, but to feel good about myself. To "see" myself getting ripped!!!

But... and here's the weird and freaky part... I also changed in my sexuality. Guys now seem quite good-looking to me. You know, the sexy emo hair. Not dyed black, just... down and... well, I'm not gonna say anymore. Girls are still very sexy, though. Very sexy ;) But guys with sexy hair or muscles... you know... wearing short-sleeves or tank tops... I dunno. It's just sexy.

So what goes from here? I guess the next stage for me is to try and find some new friends. I am actaully slightly more "confident", if you want to put it that way, but I have always had confidence, ambition, enthusiasm and motivation ever since doing my project in Art & Design (god I love my artwork so much, just like I love Snow Patrol's music... lol) I just feel like talking to people now, I feel like connecting, instead of hiding away. I know I sound "emo" but I'm not.

One thing I must say is that I have always been true to myself. In fact, I don't know how to be "false" to myself!!!

But yeah, my attitude towards life has changed, I guess. Being a very organised person, I have sorted everything out, and can prioritise everything with ease. My insomnia which I've had for the last 2 months is now diappearing, YAY!!!

The quote from my MSN is the best thing here. "It's the journey that made me so strong." Snow Patrol. Basically I think it means that in order to get stronger, you need to fail first. You need to be weak first, you need to have sins and bad stuff in order to get better. And the quote is just sort of saying, depression was actually good for me, because it made me cleverer and strongerer XD lol

Luca Macis

Im glad to see your back on track. I mean i did notice you wern't that sociable at King Harold but we all knew that you we're a nice person and tried to get you involved. We probaly done little but i like to think we helped you a little to get to where you are now. Even if the changes are so much later on then secondary school.

Btw i did read the blogs on ur msn space thing but this is soooo much easier for me. lol

Keep on rocking :-P
Posted by Luca Macis on [07 Nov 2007 | Wednesday] - 11:01 PM
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Trebor™ XstraightedgeX
Robert Cathles

hi luca thnx for the comment dude :D

yh i guess i do owe a lot to you guys really. inviting me out and all that :) cheers man ;) i suppose its just sort of everything really thats changed me and opened up, but all you guys probably better at pulling me out of the house :) haha lol i sound drunk!!!

And thanks for reading all my msn spaces crap. it was just getting a bit lonely on there i guess...

You rock man :) Here, have some kudos things. They'll do for now until I can think of a way to make it up for all you guys. (lol i definitely sound drunk now... lol)
Posted by Trebor™ XstraightedgeX on [08 Nov 2007 | Thursday] - 12:16 AM
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Brillant blog, I might not know ya, but I think you're rather brave, how you found yourself, andnot scared to say that you find men attractive and stuff also how you have alot more confidence now.
Keep it up.

(Also yes, you can hire me for valentines day.) =]
Posted by Joshiee on [09 Nov 2007 | Friday] - 2:42 PM
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† The Ice King †
Frank Burtenshaw

"After reading Frank's blog at http://www.myspace.com/frankb77, I felt like making my own contribution to the community about, well, me. Nothing too long."

Glad to see i've contributed dude :P
And yeah, seen a massive change in you since first year at college, it's all good :P
And the quote about snow patrol ... might i recommend some Children of Bodom, Behemoth, Arch Enemy, Dragonforce and Malice Mizer ... you never know, you may like ^_^
Posted by † The Ice King † on [23 Nov 2007 | Friday] - 11:07 PM
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4 November 2007

Alcohol - A New Perspective

Okay, I promise, this will be the last time I talk about how much I hate alcohol. Yeah, yeah, I know the rule about not shoving your ideas into other people's heads, and I have thought about it, and have came up with this balanced view. Read on.

First - some facts.

Alcohol is a drug. Alcohol has something called ethanol in it, which is a drug - a depressant. Here is what it does (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethanol#Effect_on_humans):

50 Euphoria, talkativeness, relaxation
100 Central nervous system depression, impaired motor and sensory function, impaired cognition
>140 Decreased blood flow to brain
300 Stupefaction, possible unconsciousness
400 Possible death
>550 Expiration

So, it is mainly euphoria - a sense of happiness. But another way of saying happiness is... the lack of sadness. (Just like the glass that is half full/half empty.)

That leads me to the idea that alcohol is therefore a painkiller! Just like paracetamol, alcohol gets rid of your mental pain.

So IMO, choosing not to drink is perfectly justified and needs no question, because it's just like saying NO to drugs and cigarettes.

Plus, something I looked up says that when you drink heavily, the cells in your brain get smaller due to dehydration - that's why you get the need to go to the toilet so often! When you uptake water again, the cells return to normal - and this is called a hangover!

But what's interesting is that I read the damage to these cells holding the brain to the skull is temporary, but the recovering process of the nerve-cell structure of the dendrites is permanent.

Skins - the Hedonistic teenagers who don't worry about the dangers of the world such as drugs, alcohol, smoking and sex. And mucking about with your friends. Haha. So I thought I could win you over just by stating that fact. No. The next stage is to try and say what this means in the real world. I'm starting to hit the philosophical borderlines of Atheism and Nihilism now... Do you want to preserve your body as much as possible? Do you want to make yourself stronger by going through pain? Do you want to test your body to the limits? Does it really matter? Do you need to "keep everything in moderation" - or does it actually matter in the end because you will die anyway so what's the difference? Is the difference the influence and change you bring about the world - based upon the choices you make? Such as the people who you bought the alcohol from, the people who look up to you, your parents etc? Are they the lasting result of you? And in that way should you lead the best life in order to make a "good" influence on them? What is "good", surely that knocking down a few buildings would be good for the world overall (see "Fight Club" then come back here).

I suppose an easier way of putting all that is just - "do you really wanna fuck up your body and your brain? do you actually care?"

Let's summarise everything then. We've got our bad reasons - such as health effects and drink driving - good points such as spreading influence via money, forming communities and some good health effects. Now let me contradict myself -

Alcohol does obviously cause a lot of death. Does that then mean that alcohol is good, because we are finding another way of keeping the population down?

But why do we need to keep the population down? To stop increasing taxes, pressure on public services and demand for resources?

This reminds me of something on Al Murray's MySpace - "Alcohol - the reason many of us are here!"

Okay. That's enough. So where are we standing now? I suppose I will just have to live with the fact that people like to drink alcohol, and all the while, I can just remind myself that people aren't actually drinking alcohol, they're taking drugs. For everyone else, all I can say is, cheers!

The Hardest Part

Did you watch Stephen Fry's programme called "HIV and Me?". No? Oh well. It really was a great programme.

Fry made this programme as an aim to reduce the stigma (prejudice) and increase the education about how to be safe with this whole HIV/AIDS thing.

An important note - before watching this programme, I did not actually know what HIV/AIDS actually was. All I knew was that it was "bad" and that anyone who had it is "bad" themselves. But what is even more important is that after seeing this, I have no more stigma, in fact, I feel desperately sorry for anyone with this condition - and any other condition it that.

Here are the most important facts you must know - these are all on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AIDS
  • HIV is the infection itself, which leads to the AIDS condition. It takes 9-10 years to fully develop, but will take only 9 months to kill you.
  • HIV is spread via blood (touch and blood transfusion), through a mother to her baby, sexual/bodily fluids such as semen, vaginal fluid and pre-ejaculate fluid (through anal, vaginal and oral sex in that order), breast milk and through shared needles. HIV has never been found in saliva, tears or urine, and is very, very unlikely to get there if you come in contact with it.
  • AIDS causes damage to the immune system, making you much more vulnerable to other viruses such as TB (tuberculosis) and Pneumonia. It kills off your white blood cells very quickly and this causes many other problems.
  • The best way to prevent infection is by using a condom (and as everyone knows, this also prevents other STI's and of course, pregnancy!!!!)
  • There is no cure, and treatment of AIDS still leaves you with a massive intake of pills and HIV symptoms.
  • Not everyone can get free condoms or medical support for HIV, because of lack of money (particularly in Africa) or because religion does not accept sex before marriage as "right".
  • Anyone can get HIV. It spreads just as well through straight people as well as gay/lesbian people. It is not rooted to just one type of sex.
What is so important in today's world is that everyone should be taught all of this and learn not to rely on stigma. I'm 17 now and in the last few months I've learned so much about life than I ever have done. Just through experience. And reading and watching. And listening. All I hope for in the future is that everyone can learn this, and that stigma can be killed, and education about this should be compulsory. I watched "HIV and Me" because there was nothing else on, and I missed the first of two episodes anyway. But then I actively thought about it again and it and changed my prejudices, and I did a little research about it.

What I want is for everyone to see this. But that is the problem, you see? Trying to get every new generation to learn this is hard work!!!

And just in case you didn't know, Stephen Fry is an intellectual genius and is homosexual, but does not have HIV/AIDS. But the programme showed some of his close friends who were positive and how they passed away.

Picture of Anonymous
Luca Macis wrote:
I did like this blog Rob. Some very interesting info and im sorry i missed the programme to be honest
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