What is bisexuality?
Bi or bisexuality is an umbrella term used to describe an
emotional, romantic and/or sexual orientation towards more than one gender.
Some people might be equally attracted to both men and women, or they may have a
preference towards one gender (and this preference may vary over time).
Pansexuality refers to a person whose emotional, romantic
and/or sexual orientation towards others is not limited by their sex or gender.
Some people consider this to be a more
inclusive term, as it goes beyond the gender binary.
Why do we need bi
visibility?
Bisexuality is typically invisible as it may be mistaken for
a gay, lesbian or straight relationship. Bisexuals struggle to feel accepted as
some people try to categorise them into gay or straight, and deny that
bisexuality exists. Studies show bisexual people are more likely to remain
closeted, consider suicide more, and are more likely to be homeless than their lesbian
and gay counterparts (Science
Daily, Taylor
& Francis, MAP, Stonewall).
What issues do bi
people face?
Bi-erasure is the downplaying of people or characters who
are bi so that they are not given the same treatment as straight or gay people.
For example there are very few bisexual public figures and role models, and
there is a trend of characters in fiction (including LGBT+ films) where bisexual
characters may be mentioned in books or by filmmakers off-screen, but when it
comes to the actual film, they are sidelined or their bisexuality not mentioned
at all (e.g. Love, Simon and Thor: Ragnarok).
Biphobia is the assortment of prejudices faced by bisexual
people, such as the belief that bisexuality is synonymous with promiscuity, or that
bisexual people are confused, in denial of homosexuality, or just greedy.
Some people consider that a bi partner cheating on them with
someone of the opposite sex would be less problematic than if they did the same
thing with a same-sex partner – suggesting that bisexuality is not equal to
other sexualities. Bi people are being forced to believe that they’re
technically gay with gay people, and technically straight with straight people
– which is not the case.
What are the
reactions to people coming out as bi?
Some negative reactions to bisexuality are actually negative
responses to homosexuality, and a catch-all form of same-sex discrimination.
Parents may wrongly perceive bisexuality to be a phase/experimentation, and
that the end game will be a conventional heterosexual relationship. Many bi
people will feel pressured to pursue this, with their relatives treating
bisexuality as a lucky close-call with the horror of homosexuality. Meanwhile
bi people who are in relationships that appear outwardly heterosexual will be
made to feel excluded by close-minded gay people, who wrongly accuse them of
retreating into ‘straight privilege’, and may be judged for being part of the lesbian
and gay community.
How do we help people
to be more accepting of bi people?
If someone states their sexuality, the best thing to do is
to accept it at face value. Regardless of your personal understanding of that
identity, the person insisting upon it has decided that it’s the identifier
that best fits them, and that should be good enough for anyone. Acceptance is
the kindest and most decent response, lifting potentially years of anxieties
from people who have had to find the courage to make a statement of their
sexuality.
Acceptance also happens to be the best path towards more
dialogue. Ask questions, engage with that person, get involved and take an
interest. Just by doing that you not only stand to make that person feel more
comfortable and respected, but you’re even helping to tackle wider bisexual
issues within society. Whether it be a conversation with a friend, or a
fleeting supporting character in a movie, acknowledgement and appreciation of
bisexuality can mean a whole lot to them.
What are some good
resources?
- http://biresource.org and http://www.bisexualindex.org.uk/ are a good place to start for someone looking to answer some early questions about bisexuality - also providing insightful content for allies, and suggested reading for some bisexual people.
- The Bisexual Report also offers much insight, some of it rather sensitive, regarding bisexuality in the UK https://bisexualresearch.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/the-bisexualityreport.pdf
Final thoughts
For someone who is curious and unsure about their identity,
I would always encourage reaching out, and being proud of realising your sexual
identity. Coming out means not having to hide your feelings, having a personal
sense of achievement, and the fact that coming out helps to resolve long-term
issues as well, such as visibility, representation, and acknowledgement.
This blog was written with generous help from Josh Scully.
