22 December 2016

Life lessons for everyone

My thought process from this

Imagine you're dying tomorrow and you want to teach the right way of things.
Capture questions you are asked.
Bad things I've done in my life and learnt from.

General advice

Work on your weaknesses. Always try to improve. Always challenge yourself and things to beat. Reward yourself.

If something bad has happened in the past, you can't change it. You can only move forwards. You have to accept it and move on.

Use your pain of lost loved ones to fuel yourself doing good things and helping others.

Don't neglect your family, they are the only ones you've got. One day your parents will be gone forever. You can always do some other thing another time. Building good memories of your family will be better. Don't sacrifice your time to work to family either, your family remembers you, but work doesn't remember your overtime. (Overtime to me just means under staffed).

Find what you enjoy in life, what makes you happy.

Take opportunities. Not risks.

Try new things.

Always have a Plan B for everything. A way to back yourself up in court. Justifying. Nothing without reason.

We can't rely on deities to save us, we are on our own. It's okay to be alone. In many cases it's better. Don't have to think of someone to look after, to worry about, can sleep properly.

You are an ambassador of the universe. Show the universe, and the world, the best you can be.

Anyone can die at any time, you never know when it's going to happen. So make use of your time - even your spare time - to do something memorable or constructive. Destructive behaviour helps no-one and avoids your problems.

Mistakes propel us forward and everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are there so a lesson can be learned, they aren't there to test you, they are there to make you a better, worldly, well-rounded, adaptable, tolerant person.

We often only learn the value of things after we've lost them. Try to identify the things you value the most and don't take them for granted.

Specific practices

Lists are everything. Make up pros and cons. Brainstorming your ideas and thoughts onto paper, or keeping a diary can help you sleep better. The process of turning thoughts into concrete ideas allows you to view them more objectively, and deal with them another day.

Read anything and everything (a la Matilda).

Play safe; don't think of just protecting yourself, but protecting others as well.

Save money. Don't live between payslips.

Punctuality reduces issues for everyone else.

Internal reactions

If stressed, take a deep breath and count to 10. Push away your feelings. Imagine you're on an island and a whale nearby is eating your manager (a la The Office US). Compartmentalisation helps you to focus. My mind sometimes just says "fuck it".

Defence mechanisms are a good way to making yourself self-aware. Humility, and admitting to when you're wrong, can accelerate your relationships with everyone.

Taking time off to be yourself is fine. Give yourself a break. A high number of ideas come from when we are doing nothing.

If something is wrong, tell someone. Tell your manager, your MP, your customer service. You have rights. If not, report it or ask for help about it.

Not all your opinions need to be validated, and it's fine if you don't have one. See what comes naturally.

As from CharlieIsSoCoolLike: Opinions are things you carry around in a box. You should always be willing to change them out for something better.

As from Rick & Morty: Nobody belongs anywhere, nobody exists on purpose, everybody's going to die. Come watch TV?

As from The Office US: Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us. How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships. It's funny, isn't it? We take a day a year to dress up in costumes and celebrate fear.

When you've hit rock bottom, you can only go up.

There is no courage without fear.

External reactions

At some point, someone will criticise you. Be ready. Be open to suggestions and constructive criticism. Remember not to take yourself so seriously and try to appreciate the lighter side of things.

If angry, or criticised, or judged, stay calm and give yourself a chance to formulate an answer. Give yourself a chance to analyse what they are saying, and admit if they are right. Don't be stubborn and defend your side for the sake of it. Nobody enjoys an argument, but everyone loves a laugh.

As from Charlie: If you want people to listen to you, don't try shouting. Try being quiet and speaking softly, and then people will actually have to try and hear what you have to say. (Although this isn't the real reason behind why anger should be avoided).

Similarly, give positive feedback and reinforcement. Comments on things.

Empathy and sympathy can help not just others, but yourself as well. If you put yourself in other's shoes, they will do as well.

To make friends, listen better to others and be interested in their lives. Open up yourself to others.

Respect others. 'Treat others as you want to be treated' is a flawed way of thinking, as if you are pessimistic, destructive, or welcome criticism, then this doesn't work. Don't take things out on others. Depending on the issue, hate the game, not the players.

Don't show off, it makes others jealous and envious. But be honest. Don't lie just to suit you. Lying to help others is ok. But not deliberately.

Don't just assume you, or anything else is right. If unsure then just ask, don't wander down a dark path without knowing where it will take you first, you might have to loop back around.

As from Charlie: Making a promise and sticking to it, and being right first time, is better than asking for forgiveness later.

Ask questions. Question reality and the status quo. Just because something is 'proven' to work doesn't mean it can't be improved. Feel free to bring things up.

Don't bite the hand that feeds. Nibble is okay.

You don't need a reason to help others.

Surround yourself with people you enjoy the company of; don't waste it on people who don't appreciate you.

More ideas from Charlie