4 May 2016

Some of my favourite quotes

This list only really takes me up until 2013 - my YouTube favourites and memes kind of cover beyond this, but still, this is where it started.

"Cake or death?!" - Eddie Izzard

"Garlic bread?" - Peter Kay

"That's NumberWang!" - Robert Webb

"Maggie, please! I’ve just had the carpet shampooed!" - Matt Lucas, Little Britain

"I am Bender. Please insert girder." - Bender, Futurama

"Woop-woop-woop-woop-woop-woop." - Dr Zoidberg

"I love my brick!" - Father Hackett

"Yatta!" - Hiro Nakamura, Heroes

"I hate junk mail. Like you know when you open your front door and all that junk mail is all over your mat... and they've got those pre-paid envelopes, do you know what I do? I shit in it and send it back... I put a little note in there - you send me your shit, I'll send you some of fucking mine!" - Lee Evans

"A wella bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word, a wella bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word..." - Peter Griffin

"Bonbonbonbons" - Brian Butterfield

"Purple is a fruit." - Homer Simpson

"Has it occurred to anyone that all we are now is ROBOTS?!" - Jack, SG-1

"Oh yes... Mmmmmerlin!" - Jack, SG-1

"Indeed" - Teal'c, SG-1

"I would prefer not to consume bovine lactose at *any* temperature" - Teal'c

"I'm on a boat... Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat..." - The Lonely Island

"Roses are red, Violets are blue, Fuck you whore." - 500 Days of Summer

"This singer, Jim James, he has the most angelic voice - he makes Enya sound like a Russian couple arguing at the bowling alley" - Stan Smith, American Dad

"Do you ever wake up before the alarm goes off? You kinda look at the clock and go... 'Noooooooo, I'm not moving, until youuu go off.' *hits pillow*" - Lee Evans

"With the new eyePhone, you can watch, listen, ignore your friends, stalk your ex, download porno on a crowded bus, even check your email while getting hit by a train. All with the new eyePhone." - Futurama

[opens fridge casually, staring inside]
"What am I doing... she's not in the refrigerator." - Mel Gibson, What Women Want

"What are you doing?"
"Spinning counterclockwise... Each turn robs the planet of angular momentum. Slowing it's spin the tiniest bit... lengthening the night, pushing back the dawn... Giving me a little more time here... with you." - XKCD

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective." - Monty Python and The Holy Grail

"You see, before, when I was gay, that high-five might have sent a tingle straight up my thigh to my Home Entertainment Centre." - Jack, Will & Grace

Francine: Hey killer, how was the kill?
Stan: Well... I didn't actually kill anyone. I tri-
Francine: [wraps up in bed] Ya know I'm tired, I have a headache, I've got a lot of work to do, my back hurts, it's that time of the month, I have an early meeting.

"I know it's not your problem. If you burden your friends, you won't have any." - Robots

[Goes dark]
Stan: What happened??
God: You er... unplugged the sun.

"Look, you've just knocked one out, right? You're lying there, you're feeling cheap and deflated..." - Nathan, Misfits

"‎Can we PLEASE stop killing our probation workers?!?!" - Nathan, Misfits

"Oh my god. Oh my god. These chocodiles, these chocodiles, oh my god, these chocodiles, oh my god." - Roger, American Dad

"I was just doing it you stupid woman, I just put it down to come here, to be reminded by you, to do what I'm already doing, I mean what is the bloody point in reminding me to do what I'm already doing, I mean WHAT IS THE BLOODY POINT, I'M DOING IT!" - Fawlty Towers

"How far did you get? Hand job?"
"Man, no. No jobs. I'm still unemployed." - 500 Days of Summer

Peter Griffin: "I need money for Bourbon and anime". [cut to drunk and watching anime] "I just can't understand this... everybody in Japan is either a 10 year old girl or a monster."

"TETSUO!" "KANEDA!" - Akira

"Love transcends all differences"

"Regret not what you have done, but what you haven't."

"Only when we have to fight to stay human do we realize how precious it is to us, how dear." - Invasion of the Body Snatchers

"You say we're on the brink of destruction and you're right. But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve." - Day The Earth Stood Still

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." - Norman Cousins

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." - Churchill

"Perhaps because we are using an imperfect tool - the human mind itself - to understand the mind, there will always be unresolved questions" - Robert Winston

"Hate is the essence of weakness in the human mind" - Unknown - Does this also mean that Love is the essence of strength in the human mind?

"They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself" - Andy Warhol

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

"Your mind is a palace. Use it wisely." - Angela's Ashes

"Time's against us all. We have to go where we most need to be, to follow our hearts to where they take us." - The Speed of the Dark

"Kingdom Hearts... is LIGHT!" - Sora

"Things are never easy, else life would have no challenges"

"Don't focus too much on the pleasures which fade quickly, focus on the pleasures which last a life time." - Walmsley